Subtle Thrill

Sometimes it looks like help
Other times it looks like a way out
I can't figure it out
If it's the little things that set me off
Or if I'm just not numb enough
Temptation; I'm tempted
Hardened to stone

At least it's the company I need
Comforting me to sleep
Shutting the curtains
And weighing the eyelids
Its black and its quiet
Covers up like a blanket
Too heavy to push off
Too engulfed to get up

Resistance and will
Embrace the subtle thrill
The uncertainty of never waking up
I've just been trying to quit
Whatever that means

Hurt is a commodity